Signs You Aren’t Ready To Make Real Change

 

So how did your month go?  I can’t even believe that is already February, wow! As we all know, there is always that optimistic, ebullient feeling that comes with the new year as there should be.  I don’t know about ya’ll but I love a good do-over :).  My usual MO at the end of the year like everyone else was to make a list of ALL the bad stuff about me that I want to change , indecisiveness, insecurities etc and magically become a new person. The problem is we take our core 2017 selves into 2018 and those changes we vow to make?Only lasts until about mid February and we are back. While I am not the woman I really want to be deep down YET,  I’m on the way and real change is very possible. How do we know that we still aren’t ready though?

  1. We wait for a “particular day” to accomplish something. I was talking to a good friend of mine last week who happens to be getting married over the summer and would like to lose a few pounds for the wedding. Twenty to be exact. I asked her “ok, what is your plan to go about doing that? She said she will start working out. I said “great when? “She said February 1st. I  laughed to myself and asked her why she was waiting a week to get started. She got quiet , then laughed realizing that there was nothing really stopping her from starting her weight loss journey. I’ve mentioned this in a previous post but when we are ready to make real change, we act , immediately.
  2. We are not putting in the actual work. I have been MAJORLY dragging my feet on taking a big exam for professional school for many years because of fear. Fear that I won’t do well. Fear that this test will determine my intelligence. The list can go on and on! I went as far as registering for the test and then never showed up on the big  day. I read blog post after blog post on the subject, watch YouTube vid after YouTube  hoping that something would make the decision for me reasons why I should or shouldn’t get this particular degree. None of that equated to real work. Whether you want to lose weight , or pass an exam there will never be a substitute for actual work. Consuming information isn’t the same as applying that information to your life and taking actionable steps.
  3. We are seeing ourselves through the smudged lenses of other people, so we don’t try. I was let go from a job about two years ago which was a real blow to my self esteem. I’ve done some self-reflecting since then and recognized my errors but for three years I worked on a team of people who largely ignored me. Although they were cordial, I was a paralegal handling the grunt work but I was rarely asked about myself, my likes, dislikes, interests or opinions. I began to internalize these feelings that I wasn’t good enough, smart enough, witty enough and I wanted to disappear! I ALLOWED them to make me feel insecure. This may sound a bit “woo woo” but the truth is if you want to make real change, you can’t ever allow the opinions of others determine how you see you or your self worth.
  4. We haven’t decided. Sometimes it’s that simple….just DECIDE that you want to pull the trigger on your goal. I’ve been saying for years that I want to get out of student loan debt. I’d pay some off here and there and then just stall my progress by paying the minimums.  It finally hit me late last year when I decided to become a homeowner that these loans were not adding anything of value to my life and just were an added burden. I have a decent job that will allow me to pay them off fairly fast, so why drag my feet on this? I’ve had to make sacrifices over the past few months by scaling way back on shopping (and this really sucks because I LOVE clothes) but I also feel great about myself. Because being decisive puts you in the driver seat and there is nothing like feeling in control!
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